On Building a Contract at Home

Writing Family Contracts at Home

At Chisholm Creek Academy, we have discovered the power of contracts in fostering accountability, responsibility, and community values. This practice doesn’t have to be limited to our school; it can be incredibly effective in the home as well. Family contracts provide a structured way to establish expectations, reinforce commitments, and create a culture of accountability within the household.

There is something magical about the physical act of seeing the words we have agreed on in print, and the marking of that agreement with our name that creates a stronger bond to the ideal we are striving for. It also cements the agreement for everyone involved. It removes wiggle room and the indignant, “I never said that!” excuse that we as humans tend to favor.

Why Use Family Contracts?

Family contracts serve as clear agreements that outline expectations, responsibilities, and consequences. They can cover a range of household topics, such as chores, screen time, and behavior. When parents and children collaborate to establish these agreements, it creates a sense of ownership and mutual respect.

Some key benefits of family contracts include:

• Clear Expectations: Everyone knows what is expected, reducing misunderstandings and conflicts.

• Personal Accountability: Signing a contract reinforces a commitment to the agreed-upon terms.

• Conflict Resolution: When disputes arise, the contract serves as a neutral reference point.

• Life Skills Development: Teaching children the importance of honoring agreements helps prepare them for adulthood.

Steps to Creating a Family Contract

Everyone involved gets input:

Conversations about contracts should be detailed and allow feedback from all parties. This ensures buy-in and ownership of the agreement.

• What expectations are most important to each family member?

• How can we make sure everyone feels heard and valued in this process?

• What compromises might be necessary to ensure fairness?

Keep it positive:

Focus on rewards for completing agreed-upon actions rather than emphasizing punishments.

"I promise to..." rather than "I won’t..." 

• How can we phrase our agreements in a positive way?

• What rewards will help reinforce good behavior?

• How can we ensure consequences are fair and reasonable?

Use SMART goals:

Specific: Define clear and practical rules.

"When we are done with dinner, we will put our plates in the sink" instead of a vague "Clean up after dinner."

• What specific behavior do we want to encourage?

• How can we make the rule as clear as possible?

Measurable: Ensure that progress can be tracked over time, 

“A week of putting your dishes in the sink = Reward vs Put your dishes in the sink for the rest of your life.”

• What indicators will show us that we are meeting our goals?

• How will we track progress in a way that everyone understands?

Attainable: Set achievable goals and break larger ones into smaller steps. 

“All books must be picked up before bed” vs “Your entire room must be spotless.”

• Is this goal realistic for all family members?

• What small steps can we take to work toward our larger goals?

Relevant: Make sure the rules apply to everyone and resonate on a personal level. 

“We will practice good hygiene by X, Y, and Z.” instead of “Bobby, don’t pick your nose!”

• Why is this rule important to our family?

• How does this rule benefit each family member?

Time-Based: Set clear deadlines.

 "Picking up all books BEFORE bed" or "All chores are done BEFORE any electronics."

• What is a reasonable timeframe for achieving this goal?

• How often should we review and adjust our timelines?

Post it somewhere easily accessible:

Keep the contract visible—on the fridge, a wall, or framed art—so it is easily referenced.

• Where is the best place to display our contract?

• How often should we review the contract to ensure it remains relevant?

• What format (written, digital, visual) works best for our family?

Consistency is key:

A rule is only effective if it is consistently enforced. Avoid being lax during stressful times and ensure rules are upheld fairly and predictably.

• How can we stay consistent with enforcing our contract?

• What should we do if we start slipping on enforcement?

• How can we make rule-following a shared responsibility among family members?

Sample Family Contract Sections to Think About

A family contract may include various sections depending on your household's needs. Here are a few examples:

• Chores and Responsibilities:
  Assign tasks to each family member with clear deadlines.

  “I promise to complete my assigned chores on time and to the best of my ability. If I am unable to do so, I will communicate with my family and find a solution.

  • I promise to complete [specific chore] by [time/day].

  • I promise to help keep our home clean and organized.

  • I understand that if I do not complete my chores, I may lose privileges or have additional tasks assigned.”

• Screen Time and Device Use:
  Define limits on electronics, social media, and video games.

  I promise to use my electronic devices responsibly and follow the family’s screen time rules.

  • I promise to limit my screen time to ___ hours on weekdays and ___ hours on weekends.

  • I promise not to use my devices during family meals or gatherings.

  • I promise to complete my school goals and chores before using electronics for entertainment.

  • I understand that my device use may be monitored, and I will follow all household rules regarding internet safety.

• Behavior and Respect:
  Establish guidelines for communication, conflict resolution, and mutual respect.

  “I promise to treat my family members with kindness, patience, and respect.

  • I promise to use kind words and a calm voice when speaking to others.

  • I promise not to yell, call names, or use hurtful language.

  • I promise to listen when others are speaking and express my feelings respectfully.

  • I promise to work through disagreements peacefully and take a break if I need time to calm down.”

• Academic Commitments:
  Outline school expectations and consequences for missing assignments and/or goals.

  “I promise to take my education seriously and do my best in school.

  • I promise to complete all my goals before engaging in screen time or other leisure activities.

  • I promise to put effort into my schoolwork and strive for excellence in all I do.

  • I understand that if I do not meet my academic responsibilities, I may have reduced privileges until I improve.”

• Privileges and Rewards:
  Recognize and incentivize positive behavior and adherence to the contract.

  “I promise to be responsible so I can earn rewards like extra screen time, family outings, or allowance bonuses.

  I understand that if I do not follow this contract, I may lose privileges, such as screen time or social activities, and may have to do extra chores.

  I promise to take responsibility for my actions, to not use victim mentality, and accept the consequences fairly.”

At Chisholm Creek Academy contracts create a framework for success, family contracts can do the same at home. By taking the time to draft, discuss, and sign agreements, families can cultivate a culture of responsibility, trust, and personal growth. When expectations are clear and everyone is held accountable, home becomes not just a place of comfort but also one of learning and growth.

Embrace the power of family contracts and watch as your home transforms into a space where commitments are honored, and values are upheld.